![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
Pairing: S/D
Rated: NC-17
*Fairytale Meets Nightmare As Maiden Sammy Must Choose Between A Man Most Wicked And A Man Most Kind. But Is There Really A Difference?*
A/N: Yeah I got sucked into a Depeche Mode moment. Made sense when I wrote this. All songs belong to them. Except for the end one.
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AND SO THE FAIRYTALE OPENS, WITH ONCE UPON A TIME: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWmq
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It was the middle of mid-day.
Young maiden sam boy was skipping through the forest in his red little cape and stripper boots, his sexy ass black mini dress clinging tight to his manly curves.
In his hair he wore a red sparkling bow, his hair wavy,slightly wet and toused and black makeup that actually made look well...HOT!
He carried with him a basket full of love and good tidings and made his way off to grannie's house.
He came to a clearing in the middle of smutty forest.
"Oh no, what ever shall I do?" Sammy said, sticking his finger in his mouth in girly though with his one leg tilted up in a girly kind of step.
From a little ways in the distance, stood a dark and husy woodsman. He had seen the fair manly boy prance into his clearing and oh how his mouth watered at the site.
The woodsman was topless and sweaty with a giant threatening ax held high in his hand and a pair of low slung hip jeans accentuating his firm bum cheeks. As he watched the maiden boy bend delicatley over, he felt a stirring in the front of his jean and grunted a wicked grunt.
He WANTED sam.
Meanwhile, sam had started up his skipping again till he got even more lost and came face to face with a giant cave. Now normally he wouldn't go into the cave but being lost and the sun setting low to dirty sunset, he felt the cave was his best option. After all, his grannie john had warned him about the raping men who hunted down the fair people stupid enough to get lost in the first place.
"Oh I am ever so lost. I wonder...shall someone strong and warm and hunky dunky come and rescue me?"
Sam stepped delicatley into the cave.
"Yoo-Hoo! I am a lost little man lass carrying a basket full of love and good tidings. Can anybody help me?"
He heard a faint growl coming from deep within and convinced himself it was a wild protective animal who would protect his sexy ass if ever someone dared attempt to rape him in the middle of the night. Little did he know, that animal was a sexy driven wild man with an ax in his hand called DEAN......
The deeper sammy went, the more he shivered in both fear and high anticipation that whatever should happen, he would be safe. Though he couldn't admit it to anyone, the idea of being raping by a wild ax carrying forest man made his dick twitch a little. How insane would grannie john think of him if he dared say this out loud however, so sam did what all sexy ass fair maiden boys do and pushed the thought way down deep into his subconcious where if not released, would cause him severe psychological problems.
"Oh me oh my, I am so very tired. I just need a warm place with which to sleep for the night"
"So come here my child" a voice broke into the silence
Sammy jumped a wee hop back.
"And may I ask sir, could be so kind as to comfort me while I sleep"
"I promise fair maiden boy, I shall do my share of comforting"
'And then some' thought the wild ax carrying man DEAN.
Sammy walked towards the voice. When he got there, he saw a nice straw bed inviting him to lay upon it's cozy branches and bowl full of stew with which for him to eat. To the right of the straw bed was a brown wooden box.
"My what a lovely box you have" He said to sexy wild man.
"The better with which to tempt you" said DEAN.
"And you think one such as you can pull off such a task?" said sam in a dainty voice
"Ah fair maiden boy. I would never dream of seducing you. Though I must admit, your skin looks quite smooth, and you dress clings tight to those firm firm curves. Would you mind removing your cape for me little sammy"
Sam tensed for a second
"How did you know my name?"
DEAN stepped closer to him, walking around behind him, his eyes burning holes into the maiden boy as he imagined all the ways he could ravage him in the night. Sam felt the penetrating glare, more than willing to take DEAN up on his offer should he make a move upon him.
"I wonder, if I pressed against you just so, and untied your cape without permission, what you would do"
And DEAN did as such, letting his swelling cock run up and down the dip in Sam's sexy ass as with his hands, slid along the sides of his body and onto the bow formed in the middle of his cape. He pulled one end and then the other, giving them a nice TUG, as he did so, to emphasize his lustful advances and sexual arousings.
DEAN let the cape fall slowly to the floor and stepped back before plunging one of his fingers underneath the hem of sammy's dress and lightly dragging it up to expose his lacy pink panties.
"A fetish of mine I dare say"
"Yeesssssssssss" Sam hissed in response
"But not for now. Come sit with me, let me feed you. You must be starving after a day such as yours and it would be surly be less of me as a man not to fill your stomach with the meaty substance you see before you"
"It would be my pleasure to dine with you..sir. Might I know your name?"
"THAT my dear maiden, is not for such simple things as talking but for screaming"
Sammy blushed, trying to cover it up so with his hands.
"Tee-Hee Hee. How you make me blush saying such wicked things to me. If I did not no better, I would say you were waiting to rape me. And we couldn't have that"
Sammy brushed past DEAN, letting his lips 'accidentally' touch the skin of DEAN'S neck. He folded his dress, now seeming as if it barley existed, and sat down on the straw bed, waiting for DEAN to feed him.
"Your blushes are not meant for hiding. If I make them appear, perhaps it for darker deeds and purposes" DEAN said, spooning some of the stew which he brought up to sam's lips.
"Fair maidens such as myself do not dare engage in naughty things as you must do whilst alone here in your cave"
Sammy opened his mouth to take the stew and DEAN was quick lean in, pressing a finger to sammy's mouth.
"You don't want to swallow something so hot"
DEAN blew onto the spoonful of stew, his eyes locked onto sam's who felt his eyes close at this.
DEAN smiled
"Have to blow it cooler before you suck it down"
Sam could feel the body heat radiating off DEAN even through his closed eyes but he opened them when he felt the spoon entering him so. The stew slithered and slid down his throat, the warmth filling his body from mouth to toe.
When DEAN was finished, he again came behind him. Crawling this time.
"You seem so tired. Let me massage those tender bones"
He gripped sam with his hands, kneading the bones of such a heavenly, innocent creature.
"You do so well with your hands"
DEAN chuckled
"I can do other things to"
He worked his hands lower down sammy's body
Sam sucked in a breath
"You...you nn..never did tell me how you knew my name"
Dean dragged one of his hand towards the front end of sammy's dress
"Do you really want the answer to the question you ask?"
Sam let his head fall to DEAN'S shoulder as Dean massaged both his lower back with one hand and his other moving steadily under sam's dress until he found what he was looking for.
"OH!" Sammy said as DEAN began squishing his hand on sammy sweet dick, moving it up and down, up and down as Sammy couldn't help buck into his grasp.
Dean rubbed his nose inside sammy's ear then brought his mouth to it and whispered
"Because all the pretty ones are called Sam. And you...are BY FAR the prettiest creature I have ever seen"
DEAN grabbed tightly to Sam's head and spun his face around, crashing their lips together in a heated kiss, his tongue shoving into Sam's mouth so far Sam thought he might die from it AND YET, he wanted even more of it
"The time for such innocence is over. I want these garments off...NOW!"
DEAN removed his hands and smacked Sam down onto the bed of straw. Sam tried to get away, though not very hard and DEAN slapped him again, this time gripping the top of his dress and tearing it from his body into pieces he flung to the floor of dirt.
"YOU'RE HURTING ME!" Sam cried
"But you want it" Said DEAN, shoving his thighs apart, diving headfirst to his pre-cum dripping cock.
DEAN lapped at him, his hands leaving brusing marks on the insides of sam's thighs as he refused to let sam get up or to escape.
"I DO! I DO WANT YOU TO RAVAGE ME!" Sam cried, trying to grasp blindly to something
DEAN stuck his tongue inside with a few of his finger till Sam was shivering so much from the invasion that he spilt into DEAN'S mouth, moaning for more more more.
DEAN sat up, yanking down his trousers and drawers, taking a final look at Sam before he plowed inside him.
'GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
Sam thrashed under DEAN, clawing at his skin, biting into him and still DEAN wouldn't stop.
"THIS WILL NEVER BE OVER!"
DEAN kept pushing till he dried sammy out and they both had called into the night, voices rising over the hills of the forest to the valleys below and when it was done, DEAN turned him over and began it again.
Sam started to bleed, desperate to be fucked but dying for it to stop and the only response he got from DEAN was his ax being shoved up into his ass, and down his sides and back. It left scars and pain and still, DEAN craved him, and still, Sammy let him.
FINALLY, DEAN had come as much as he was able, and Sam, having no clothes with which to cover himself, ran fast from the cave and away from DEAN'S clutches, knowing that he would be forever marked by the beast in the cave.
Sam was able to sneak into grannie john's house, finding new garments and the days continued with no sign of his sexual rapist coming to threaten him.
"Oh me oh my, one that is such as myself should not hope for the rapings of such angry foe. Yet I feel in me that so much has been lost and I feel him calling to me, mourning my loss. But why should I indulge him? Why would I do so when the one who must adore me will come for me one day, not far from now, and welcome me with open arms. Letting sweet kisses come down on me, and pleasures un-wild filling me whole. Should that be so wrong?"
Sam sunk into a terrible depression. Being so innocent before and so tainted now, he knew not which path he was destined to choose. As it all weighed him down, his condition worsening, a song started to play and the sounds wouldn't leave him, the words echoing down to the core of his soul as he struggled between his addiction for DEAN and his hope for beauty.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5a0OAtz
Sam's grannie john had nothing with which to help the fair maiden boy. He knew if didn't find a cure for him soon, Sam would die.
Grannie john packed up some belongings, making sure to leave plenty of food and drink for Sam and kissed him on the forehead.
"I shall never let anyone or anything harm you"
Grannie john walked for days on end, from place to place, all with out any cure till he arrived at the gates of caring to beg the king and queen to save his fair maiden boy.
"This boy has been tainted by the rapings of an ax man" the queen said to grannie john
"Yes. But I ask of you, do not hold that upon his head. For he was so good and wonderful whilst remaining so innocent. He has never harmed anyone or anything and lays dying in my house so far away. If only you could aid him, perhaps his yearnings would dwindle and he would find a love that is pure and true"
"I will do as you wish. HUSBAND! send forth a carriage and escort grannie john home to his fair son sammy. May you return them both to me and I will heal his heart and soul"
Sam was brought to the kind and queen and she did as promised to grannie john. Soon, his heart was whole again, his past gone away, never to destroy him again.
Months passed, then a small amount of years till sammy reached the age of 24 years. He and his grannie john had been welcomed to the gates of caring and were permitted to stay for as long as they could think of it as home.
"Sam. My darling boy" the Queen said to him one day "I see you are doing well"
"I am my queen. Thanks to your hands"
"Then I ask you to join us in festive activities. It is there that you may find someone who touches you in a kind way"
Sam's face lit up with joy, his mouth curved into a smile
"I would love nothing more. Thankyou my queen. For everything"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWmq
When Sam heard the song play, he attention was drawn to the man at the microphone. He was breath-takingly handsome, green eyes, short hair.
The man wore trousers of black, shirt of white hanging slightly over the top of the trousers with the first few button un-opened, exposing a tanned upper chest.
Sam felt a rush of love sweep over him as he was pulled into the singing words of the song, watching the man's hips sway to the music and he was powerless to turn away.
"My beautiful Sam" said the queen "You have found the one you love"
"I have"
"Then I must introduce you later in the evening. I KNOW! when we dine. You shall be seated next to the man you adore so"
Sam nodded to the queen, then turned back to the man in time to catch his gaze.
Something about him...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDBItm39
At dinner, he felt himself shake at the longing he felt toward the man. It comsumed him. Each time the man looked his way and smiled at him, sam felt he'd fall to the floor in happiness.
"They have told me much of you sam" the man said, raising his glass up for a toast
"And so little of you"
"Ah but I'm sure you know enough of me to know my feelings for you are worthy"
Sam blushed
"Your words captivate me so"
"But they make you nervous as well. Why?"
Sam fidgeted in his seat
"Our sam has no wish to relive such horrible thoughts" the king interrupted
"And neither would I ask him to" the man replied
From under the table, the man reached over and weaved his hand through sam's to show him everything would be alright. That they would be together and he would never ask of him anything he wished not express. Sam let out a sigh at this comfort. But something about the man still seemed to nag at him. Perhaps he just had something in him that felt familiar even though they had never met before. Such things were not unheard of.
"I must excuse myself, the fresh air of evening is calling to me. Would it be too much to insist that Sam join with me?"
The man had let go of sam's hand a few minutes before this annoucement and held it out again now for him to take.
"It would pleasure me so" Sam said
Hand in hand, they walked out to the terrace, them moon reflected in their eyes.
"My sam" the man said gently, raising up to meet sam's lips in a kiss most chaste and true.
Sam's hear fluttered. The only thing he had to compare it by was the rough and ravanous kiss of the ax man. The thought made his heart pound and the kind man in front of him took notice.
"Have I done wrong in kissing you sweet maiden?"
"No,oh ever so not my love, it's just...that I have been taken most fiercly in the past by a hungry ax bearing man that I fear anything as perfect as you"
The man smiled and again placed a kiss onto his beloved
"I would think even the most wicked of men could be changed with a love so freely given by one such as loving as you. Did you love him fair sammy?"
"I wasn't sure what that meant until I saw you"
"A confession I must make if you ever did find it in your heart to love all of me"
Sam pulled the man close to his body, hugging him tightly yet amorously
"If what you say would be the end of us, I do not care to know. For I have waited so long for you. That other man, most wicked was he, and yet I found myself craving it so badly because I dared to want him. Only as much as I wanted him, I wanted kindness and love. I do not feel he could've given me those willingly"
"Then I must tell you. And I hope fair sammy, that will not dispose of me. For I am that wicked ax man"
Sam froze. It could not be. He moved away, taking in the sight of the kind man
"But you can not be. If you are, why have I not even seen it from you?"
The kind man let his hand linger upon the smooth cheek of maiden sam
"You have seen me. You knew from the very start of our meeting. When you deserted me long ago, I felt an ache in my heart wanting to see you again. My face looks so different to you as you know view me with love and can see that same love reflected back at you"
"Then why didn't you come for me?"
Sam was angry. He wasn't sure what to say. The kind man held Sam in place with his hands on his hips
"I have come for you. I've come for you now. All that time apart from you nearly destroyed me. I heard the song which tormented you and I had to try...to give you something you so deserved. Please sam, I am not the same man I was before. Though I still do not regret our first sexing, I would not for the life of me hurt you again unless you asked it of me. Can you ever find it in your hear to forgive me?"
Sam had stopped listening when Dean had told him that his love was reflected back, thus proving to sam that he was more than something to be taken so harshly.
"I have found the one who loves me. After all this time. And I could not ask for anyone else to hold me like you"
Dean practically made Sam fall over and he lept to him in joy. They had a second chance now. All would be better than before.
"Come hither with me, that we may marry and live here forever"
Sam kissed him with much more passion then he had before.
"I never stopped wanting you"
"I know. And I promise to never let you down"
Sam took hold of Dean's hand and led him back to the dinning hall where they announced their engagement to all. The next day Dean stood still with the widest expression of joy ever to be found on a person, in a tux of beautiful white and gold.
Sam walked down the aisle in his sparkling gown, it's train flowing out behind him, the tirara pefect in his hair with tiny rose buds tucked along his ears.
There, at the front of the chapel, they said their vows, placing the rings onto eachother and looking forward to start of their lives. All would be blissful, with maybe a few kinky sexcapades thrown in for good meausure as Sam had become accepting of it so long as Dean didn't injure him past what he wanted.
Then they drove off in their carriage to their new home in the gates of caring and lived happily ever after.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-INyhSHE
-THE END
She slammed down the window, making the glass panes shatter onto the floor.
"Great, now I have to fucking clean this mess up" she fumed.
It was a week before christmas and Ana HATED christmas with a living passion. All those damn happy go luck people made her physically sick to her stomach. It was all so fake anyway.
She grabbed a broom and dust pan, angrily sweeping the mess and began to plot her revenge. All december she'd had to listen to these stupid ass carol singers who just happened to LOVE singing on the corner right in front of her apartment building and it pissed her off. She was gonna kill them she decided. All of a sudden she felt alot better.
"What to use, what to use?" she murmured before settling on her own broom. That handle was mighty kick ass.
With a smile on her face and death on her mind, she ran out the door towards the carol singers.
"YA'LL GONNA DIE!" Ana screamed, chasing them around the corner until she had stabbed every single one of them and all was silent again on the corner.
"Piece of cake" she said, tossing the broom to the ground, brushing off her hands and heading back inside. She had just shut her front door when Santa showed up and kicked her ass and she died.
But at least she didn't have to deal with more carol singers.
-THE END
Those were the words that had Jensen bolting up in bed, his ear drums practically bursting from the loudness coming from the man who slept beside him as of late. It didn't help that as he went to turn around, eyes just beginning to open from the deep sleep he'd been in only a short time ago, was the exact moment something sharp stabbed him in the eye.
"FUCK!" Jensen screamed, his one hand rubbing at his eye frantically right when Jared's foot kicked his side.
Jensen fell out of bed, fumbled around a little before regaining a tiny bit of sight from his injured eye and switched on the end table light.
"The fuck you on about?" he said
By this point Jared had gone into shock, leaving Jensen to let out a sigh for a second, trying to figure out what in the heck was going on and how to help him so they could get back to sleep.
Finally, Jared began to speak
"Ok Jen, remember when we first came here and we ran into that lady who we thought was some kind of witch and we laughed about it?"
Jensen remembered alright. He and Jared had decided to rent out a little cabin over the christmas holiday and as they checked in with the manager, had glanced over at an old woman waiting to be checked in behind them. Jensen made some random crack about how witches must really exist and Jared through in some words of his own but they had kept their voices down low enough, not thinking she could hear. Apparently they were wrong about that because sitting in bed next to Jensen was indeed Jared, but in the form of a big ass reindeer.
"THE FUCK?" Jensen screamed as this finally registered on him and he jumped out of bed, crashing into the bedroom wall.
"I KNOW! OH MY GOD JEN, OH MY GOD. WHAT DO WE DO? WHAT DO WE DO?"
"I I I.."
Jared burst into tears. He so did not want to be a reindeer for the rest of his life.
Jensen felt bad about his reaction and wanted to comfort him
"Geez Jared, I....am soooooo....I mean, and..."
"Thanks alot"
"I'm sorry. I am, I just..this has SO never happened to me before"
"AND YOU THINK IT HAS FOR ME?!"
Jared wanted to get as far away from Jensen as possible at the moment but found he couldn't get out of bed the right way with his new found hoofs preventing him from doing it so easily and Jensen couldn't help but let out a laugh at this comical sight.
"Oh shutup Jensen!"
"Dude you have to admit it's pretty funny. LOOK AT YOU for crying out loud"
"Yeah I've noticed"
"Aw Jared it's not that bad, we just have to fix you"
"And how exactly are we supposed to do that" Jared said raising his hoof up in anger. The effect had Jensen laughing at him again.
"Oh I see. You think this is just hillarious don't you. Well we'll see about that"
Jared charged at Jensen enough to get his antlers weaved through Jensen's t-shirt to pull him down on the bed. Of course the fact that the other window on the opposite side had the curtains pulled open was something they'd forgotten about.
"You like that Jensen? huh?"
Jared had kinda trapped Jensen underneath his reindeer weight and tried to tickle him with the antlers while Jensen was trying to escape and doing a very bad job of it.
"Who's the daddy now?"
Jared stuck his front hoofs under Jensen and flipped him around, using his antlers to ever so un-gracefully rip Jensen's pj pants to shreads while he let out a puff of frusteration.
"Jared what the fuck are you doing?"
"Ever had sex with an animal Jensen? cause you're about to"
Jared lined up and dove into Jensen who let out a howl of pain before grabbing onto the headboard and pushing himself back onto Jared once the initial pain wore off to pleasure. Jared thrust pretty fast and furious, Jensen egging him on till he came all over the sheets and crashed back down to the bed.
"Um..Jensen?"
"Yeah" Jensen groaned
"We forgot to close the curtains"
Jensen looked over at the window, face going red with embarrassment, trying to hide against Jared's fur.
Standing at the window was the old woman they'd made fun of earlier and a rather large group of christmas carol-lers with wide eyed expressions of shock on their faces, mouths hanging open as if they'd just been scarred to death by the sight of a reindeer plunging it's way into Jensen's naked ass.
"Oh fuck" Jensen groaned.
Jared started to laugh this time, his voice sounding more like an animal yelp than human laughter but such is life. Next thing you know, the old woman winked at him and Jared was back to his normal self again.
"Well since it's christmas and they're staring at us anyway" Jared said
"What?"
"I say we go at it again"
Jensen turned his head to stare at him as if he was crazy as a freakin loon. Jared smiled and started to sex him again and just as they were both coming, Jared leaned down to his ear and whispered-
"Merry Christmas Jensen"
While the christmas carol-lers started singing again.
-THE END
"I think this candy fixation you have has crossed a line" Jensen said as Jared placed the various things along his naked body.
"You said yes"
"I'm aware of what I said but I didn't think you binding me up to our kitchen island counter was what you had in mind"
"You still said yes"
Jensen let out a sigh.
"You done yet?"
"Don't ruin the mood Jen"
As soon as Jared was finished placing the candy along Jensen's naked body, he jumped up and down in excitment.
"Now we just need to open ya up a bit and..."
"JESUS!" Jensen screamed out as Jared plowed his way into his ass without warning.
"Just a little....and then...ok. There we go"
Jared pulled out.
"WHAT DID YOU DO?"
"All in good time my love. All in good time, now hold still while I stick the camping fork in"
"CAMPING FORK?!"
Jensen tried to move to a sitting position to see what in the hell Jared was doing but he was bound too tightly. He did however, feel something squishy and kinda cool being shoved up inside which for normal people might be scary but for Jensen, was actually kind of a turn on at the moment.
"I'm never agreeing to you again for as long as I live"
Jared had to smile.
"Aw you can't resist me Jenny"
Jensen had starting panting in pleasure and couldn't respond right then.
"Oh no. No no no, you're so not coming. I haven't even done the...with the things yet"
Jensen groaned.
Once Jared removed the fork out, he whipped out on of his things and ran it down the side of Jensen's body, leaving a trail of wetness behind.
"Oh god. It's....so hot" Jared groaned.
Jensen arched into the feel of the wet, desperate for more of it.
Jared whipped out another and spread it against Jen's lips before inching his way inside his mouth for Jensen so suck. As he did, Jared leaned forward, flicking his own tongue and licking his way around each little piece of sweet covering Jensen's salty skin.
"I want...JARED! fuck! I need...! GUHHHHUH!"
Jared took out a 3rd and twisted it round Jensen's pumping dick. The sensations of it all had Jensen jerking around erratically and Jared shivering from his lust. If he didn't calm down, it would end way too fast so whipping out the 4th object, he shoved it way up into Jensen, thus plugging him, preventing him from coming too soon.
He pulled his way out of Jensen's mouth and starting with his neck, Jared sucked up the first piece of sweet, a dark chocolate cream with rich cherry center. He bit into it quickly, letting the cherry run down Jensen's neck before very slowly lapping it up. He then placed a kiss onto Jensen's mouth, pulling away before Jensen could deepen it.
"But think of that lovely little child that's coming Beka" Jared says
"DIE!" Beka screams, pulling the blankets up over her head so Jared will take the hint and leave her baby infected ass alone.
"Now now, because I love you, I can most certainly deal with your residual anger that I know you don't actually mean"
Beka let out a sigh
"If you don't leave me alone I will throw up and this baby will be covered in my stinky stinky goo for all eternity cause I hate you!"
Jared climbed on the bed next to Beka and wrapped his arms around her and began to sing which made Beka laugh which wasn't helping her headache.
"STOP STOP!" she cried out in pain but Jared refused to listen and sung even louder and he rocked her body and forth like a rag doll.
"I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you"
Jared's song was quite repitious and now Beka had motion sickness and she gripped his arms to get him to let go but when he wouldn't she threw up all over the bed. Jared jumped back, concern on his face and cleaned up and gave her a bath and took care of her but Beka was till pissed.
"Well you may still be pissed but at least you're not throwing up anymore"
-THE END
"That's...nice" says Ana
"YAY YAY YAY YAY!"
"Dude does she need her medication again?" Jeff asks
"OH YEAH! THE BUS THE BUS! WHO'S YOUR MAMA?"
"That might not be a bad idea Jeff"
"ALL THE WAY BY TARGET PEOPLE THAT'S LIKE...ON THE OTHER SIDE OF TOWN!"
"Good Beka! now open wide for the doctor" Jeff says
"DOES BEKA GET A LOLIPOP?"
"Yes! Good Beka! Nice yummy candy from the good looking doctor"
"Jeff we want her medicated not sexually aroused" Ana says
"Good point"
Beka's attention has shifted by now to hot doctors. Hot doctors make her think of Patrick the irish hottie on SPN which makes her think JENSEN! which makes her think CREAMED CORN! which is not something she even likes which......
"She dead?" Jeff asks
Beka has just falled to the floor and died from over stimulating sex fantasies. But at least she went out with a smile on her face or maybe that was because of the pink sparkle vibrator Cully sent her for christmas.
"Yup. She's dead" Ana says giving her a good kick to double check
-THE END
{AND YAY! I RODE THE BUS TODAY! WAHOOOOO! GO ME! lol, YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!!!!I FEEL SO PROUD}
It was such a wonderful day, snow was falling gracefully, all the decorations around the mall were up. Life was good.
"MOVE!" Bella screamed, practically trampling Beka to get hold of an Edward cardboard cutout before anyone else did.
Beka,Ana,Lizzie and Bella were at the mall because Beka needed a last minute christmas present and wasn't sure what to buy with her hard earned cash.
"You should get something that she likes" Ana reasoned
"Something from the heart" Lizzie advised.
"Gee thanks you guys but that really doesn't help me. I have to get this in the mail in like 3 days" Beka said
"GET OFF EDWARD YOU B*TCH!" Bella screamed at the terrified looking customer in the store who wasn't even near Bella to begin with.
"Why did we bring her again?" Lizzie asked
"Because we haven't seen her in days since the whole chatroom incident. We love Bella, let her be crazy. It's the holiday season" said Beka, her eyes scanning around the store. Christmas shopping was hard.
"Is she a girlie type of person?" asked Ana
"No. Not really" Beka said
"You should get her an ornament or something. Something that will last for awhile" Said Lizzie
"AH HA!" Beka new what she was getting. She paid for the present and Ana,Lizzie and Beka had to pick up Bella who was clinging desperatley to the edward cutout and giving evil eyes at anyone looking at it, out of the store and to the car.
-THE END
Quickly, Beka devised a plan of attack on Cory.
"OMG. I HATE HIS ASS. NO ONE GETS TO BE FIRST BUT ME!"
Beka went to Cory's profile and went on a tirade about how insensitive he was to Beka about not allowing her to be first and how he had completley blindsided Hannah to take Beka's place.
"MAKE ME FIRST OR I'LL THROW YOU IN THE CAVE OF DEATH!" Beka screamed at Cory cause apparently her previous screaming hadn't had that big effect on the man.
Cory was so scared that he gave Beka what she wanted and she was happy and because she was happy she didn't throw Cory in the cave of death and everyone was happy and they gave eachout huge,big hugs and lived happily ever after.
-THE END
His happiness was cut pretty short however as he noticed the horror of all horrors....
BAD SPELLING!
The latest bad spelling murderer was a fellow poster named Imi. And god how he hated her.
"I HATE YOUR SPELLING!" Knickknack screamed at Imi in response to her evil spelling deeds.
Imi had no idea she'd offended him on such a level and trying to difuse the situation, said nothing. But knickknack could not let this go.
"YOU'RE A COMPLETE IDIOT AND I HATE YOU! LEARN TO SPELL CORRECTLY OR GET OFF THE GODAMN BOARD!"
Now Imi was a gentle soul {but very bitchy when provoked} and she could deny her feelings no longer.
"CALL ME AN IDIOT ONE MORE TIME YOU FAT ASSHOLE AND I'LL STICK YOUR FACE IN DOGGY POO!" Imi screamed at knickknack.
Knickknack just laughed at her. Clearly she didn't understand that his comments were merely funny jokes {though she really knew he was insulting her and being quite the idiot himself in taking the time out of his day just to prove she was an idiot herself}
"You asked for it"
Determined to wipe that smirk off his face at the way he thought himself so clever, Imi jammed her body through the computer and out of his.
Terrified, knowing she was gonna kick his ass, knickknack tried to escape.
"I'm so sorry Imi. I should never have been so rude" knickknack said, not meaning it but just not wanting to get his ass kicked.
"Sorry, shoulda been more respectful" Imi said and she pulled his head back so hard part of his scalp was torn off and she kicked his butt over to the toliet and pooped in it.
"I don't like being messed with" Imi said and shoved his face right in her huge pile of shit.
Knickknack pushed this way and that, doing anything he could think of to get outta her grasp but to no avail. Soon he couldn't breathe any longer and Imi took pity on him, pulling him back, letting him toss his cookies on the side of the toliet before shoving him in and out of the poop again and again for over 8 hours.
Each time he begged her to stop but hey, he fucked up so he really deserved everything he got in the long run.
Finally, Imi grew bored and her arm got tired. She let him fall to the floor and forced him to clean up all his throw up. Once he got it flushed away, Imi turned him into a bullfrog and tossed him out the window. He survived but soon went crazy so she turned him back into a human again and shot him in the eyes so he be forever blinded to the comments of message board posters and wouldn't be able to insult them ever again.
One down, more to go, Imi thought, as she perused the message board looking for anyone who dared to get in her face.
"Anyone messes with me and I'll soon give 'em a reason to stop feelin so grand about it" Imi said looking for her next victim.
And she would. Oh how she would.
-The End
"I see"
"GAH! YOU'RE JUST PRETENDING TO SEE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE WHO DOESN'T UNDERSTAND ME. I HAVE REAL PAIN YOU KNOW. I HAVE NO POT"
"I see"
"DAMN YOU" Carl Screamed
"I s.."
"IF YOU SAY I SEE ONE MORE MORE TIME I'M GONNA RUN YOU OVER WITH MY TRACTOR! NOT THAT I HAVE ONE CAUSE I HAVE NO CAR"
"Uh huh"
"I HATE YOU! GET ME BAMBOO!"
"I see"
Carl grabbed a wooden stick and shoved it through Kenny's ears.
"HAPPY PANDA-ISH VERY UN-HAPPY!"
Kenny couldn't really respond what with the stick through both his ears but he nodded in a way to say 'I see'.
Carl's face became red with anger and he went to beat Kenny up but Kenny ran across the street and hid out in the cheese barn for all eternity. Carl went to happy-py to become a more happy panda and Jenna got stuck with the babies.
-THE END
Sweat ran down his skin, his body feeling trapped by the clothes that were covering it.
As Rob reached the lake, he started to slowly peel them off one by one till he was standing stark naked under the light of the moon and jumped in, allowing the cool water to penetrate him. He was just about ready to dive under when he heard a sound coming from the lake shore.
"Moo"
"The fuck?" Rob said, trying to makeout the shape in the darkness. At first he thought it was some random kid messing around with him and it pissed him off. Here he was trying to relax only to be rudely interrupted.
"GO AWAY!" he screamed into the night.
"Mooooooo" came the reply
"Son of a..."
Rob swam to the shore and stepped out, not bothering to cover himself up. He took a few steps in the direction the mooo-ing had come from and to his surprise a cow came out. It wasn't an ordinary cow though. Sure it had the body of a cow and the tail of a cow but it's face was one of the prettiest he had ever seen. So fuckin gorgeous with it's green eyes and short hair. Full lips forming a devious smile.
"Well hello" Rob said in a rather flirtaeous way to the cow.
"Mooooo, Moo Moo Moo" The cow said, perking up his eyebrows. Something about that was turning Rob on and he came up to face the cow, laying his hands upon it's fur {??}.
The Cow closed it's eyes in pleasure, clearly enjoying the petting motion.
"You are such a fucking hot cow" Rob said, stroking it more.
The cow trembled, it's hoofs digging into the dirt.
Rob was becoming more aroused by the cow's actions and thrust his dick up against the side of it's body. He then moved behind it.
"Do you have any idea the things I could do to you?"
The cow's eyes widened.
"Mooooooooooooooooooooooooooo"
"Oh yeah, I can make you do that to" Rob said, inching the cow's tail over, rubbing his finger softly against the cow's butt.
The cow bucked back into him, wanting more and Rob shoved his dick into it, eliciting a loud
"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
"Oh yeah baby yeah, just like that"
Rob pounded into the cow, getting off on the heat of it.
The cow drawled up, it's spunk flowing out onto the ground before it fell to the ground creating Rob's own orgasm who then fell on top of the cow.
Rob closed his eyes, his dick still inside the cow, trying to calm down his panting breaths.
"I could go all night"
"Could you now?" came a reply
Rob practically bolted away from the cow only...in the place of the cow lay the sexiest man Rob had ever seen in his life.
"Who..who are you? where's the cow? WHAT DID YOU DO TO THE COW?"
"I am the cow"
"What?"
"I said, I'm the cow. Well I was the cow, but you can call me Jensen now"
Jensen flipped them over, Rob still inside him.
"Now about that all night buisness" Jensen said with a wink, his hands coming down to grasp Rob's sweet ass.
A shiver ran through Rob and he started thrusting into Jensen again.
-THE END
She started to get very angry and decided to go through the computer and find out where everyone was.
First, she went to go see Bella.
"COME IN CHAT" Beka screamed at her. But Bella was too busy having sex with Victoria and didn't hear.
Next, Beka went through Ana's computer.
"GET IN CHAT!" Beka screamed. But Ana's mom chased her around the house with a dirty broom and bruised up half her body. Beka barley escaped.
Beka felt more lost and alone then ever and still no one came in chat. So she went to go see Cully. If anyone would end up chatting to Beka, it would be Cully.
"CULLY COME CHAT!" Beka screamed. But Cully's dog chewed her elbow off and Beka ran away sobbing. Plus she didn't have part of her elbow and she was bleeding all over the place so it wasn't a very good time.
Beka gave up. No one wanted to talk to her. So she stayed up in her room in a sea of sadness and died and her corpse ended up rotting away till she turned to dust and that's when her friends came into chat to have a party and Beka was just lost forever.
-THE END
"Uh.." Came Jenna's reply
"I SAID POPCORN DAMNIT OR I'LL SHAVE ALL YOUR ASSHAIR!"
"Um...I can't make you popcorn"
Jenna was very confused.
"I HATE YOU! MAKE ME POPCORN OR I WILL KILL YOU!"
"I'm going to hang up now"
"DAMNIT!"
Jensen slammed down the phone, went to the kitched and took out a rolling pin. Jared came into the kitchen and got mad that Jensen was taking the rolling pin.
"GIVE ME THE ROLLING PIN!" Jared screamed
"NO! I HAVE TO KILL JENNA! SHE WON'T MAKE ME POPCORN!"
Jared didn't like Jenna very much when he heard this and decided to go after Jenna as well. They got in the car, drove to her house and knocked on the door.
"GIVE ME POPCORN!" Jensen screamed when Jenna opened the door to the crazy man.
"What the fuck? Who are you?"
"I'M JENSEN YOU FATHEAD! JENSEN! I WANT POPCORN!"
"Go buy your own popcorn" Jenna said trying to close the door in his face.
Jensen kicked in the door and hit her in the eye with the rolling pin.
"HA!" screamed Jared who wasn't commiting any actual violence but wasn't helping either.
Jenna went into Rita's room and grabbed her magic space ball then shoved it up Jensen's butt and pulled out all his intestines and decorated her jew tree with them.
"Hmmmm" She said looking in wonder at her beautiful tree while Jared was busy wiping up the blood that was flowing out of Jensen's butt.
Jensen started to cry so Jared began to make out with him and soon they were having sex in the middle of Jenna's living room.
"Can the two of you go home now?" Jenna said, covering up her eyes in disgust at the sight before her.
"FINE!" Jared and Jensen screamed at her.
Later on that night, Jared and Jensen heard a knock at their door. It was Jenna, she felt bad about pulling out Jensen's intestines and made him some popcorn as a peace offering.
"GO AWAY!" Jared and Jensen screamed at her, knocking the popcorn over and slicing up parts of Jenna's skin with the glass bowl fragments.
They slammed the door in her face and she went home not really knowing what to say about the situation while Jared and Jensen had sex again and then Jensen screamed.
"WHERE'S MY POPCORN?"
-THE END
"Shutup Edward, I'm trying to read twilight. I want edward"
"But I am..."
"SHUTUP! I'M TRYING TO READ TWILIGHT YOU FATHEAD!"
Bella took a fly swatter and whacked off his ears, then went back to reading her book.
"DAMNIT BELLA! I'M TIRED OF YOUR VIOLENCE"
"FINE! I HATE YOU! YOU CAN BE MY SACRIFICE AND I'M GONNA MARRY JACOB!"
"I KNEW YOU LOVED JACOB MORE THAN ME!"
"AT LEAST HE'S NOT A FATHEAD LIKE YOU. LEAVE ME ALONE, I WANNA READ TWILIGHT!"
Edward tossed his hands in the air and walked out.
"Stupid Bella"
"I HEARD THAT YOU DUMB MORON!" she screamed as she ran out and carved off his arms, then turned him into a scarecrow and stuck him out in the yard for all the crows to eat.
Bella finished her book, married Jacob and had a family of wolves. Edward melted in the sun.
-The End
"I HATE YOU. YOU MUST DIE. HAHA"
Cory grabbed a horn and shoved it up her butt and out of her head.
"I DON'T WANT TO DIE ANYMORE!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, STOP HURTING ME. I'M GONNA STUFF YOUR HEAD IN THE TOLIET"
"That's a good idea" Cory says, picking her up by the butt and dunking her head first into the toliet till only her toes are sticking out of the water then he flushes her away.
-THE END
"What's wrong with you?"
"HAVE SEX WITH ME!"
Jensen stared at Jared like he'd lost his mind.
"O..kay. I'm going out to get the last stuff for turkey day. You stay here and try not to get into any trouble"
"FUCK ME IN MY PIE!" Jared screamed, throwing a can of cranberry sauce in Jensen's direction. Jensen ducked just in time and ran out of the house.
"I'M GONNA KILL HIM!" Jared yelled at the empty house. He paced around the living before getting bored and decided to pace around the kitchen instead. When he entered he broke all the dishes and smashed the pies onto the floor,mentally cursing Jensen for not giving him pie on turkey day.
He was just about to go and set fire to Jensen's pants when he saw one last pie he hadn't destroyed.
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
Jared walked up to the sweet and suckulant cherry pie. His mouth watered at the sight of and he dipped his hand into the pie and pretended it was Jensen.
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Jared tore his pants off, grabbed a hunk of pie and started to jack himself off with it, spreading the pie all over his dick. He took 3 of them and sank them inside himself about to his orgasm when Jensen came home, walked into the kitchen and saw what Jared was doing.
"HOLY *BEEP*"
Jared was taking the fingers outta himself and licking them clean with his hot,wet mouth, moaning Jensen's name as he did it.
Jensen couldn't take it any longer as Jared was now stripping off all his clothes and spreading pie all over himself as if it were a second skin. Jensen walked up behind him,licking all over Jared's body to get the pie off.
"Jared"
"FUCK ME BITCH!"
"I WANT YOU TO TO SPREAD YOUR LEGS AND FUCK THAT BEAUTIFUL TURKEY FOR ME" Jensen yells as he pulled out a baster and sucked up some turkey juice,dripping along Jared's ass before tonguing him down and lapping up his ass like a horny dog.
As he did so, Jared stuck his huge,hard cock in and and out of the turkey, the inside still nice and warm from being in the oven. Jared fucks the turkey like a wild boar in heat while Jensen thrusts his own dick into Jared while also Jacking him inside the turkey with cranberry sauce, his mouth sucking on Jared's ear.
"I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! DO ME HARDER JENSEN SO I CAN COME ON THIS TABLE AND KILL YOU"
Jensen pounded into him like a fucking jackhammer making Jared come inside the turkey, filling it up, then he pulled out, slammed Jensen into the fridgerator and jammed his tongue down his throat practically choking him to death while he picked him up and started to bang him over and over again, Jensen tossing his head back in exstasy trying to grab hold of the top of the fridge.
"GUHHHHHH JARED JARED JARED, FUCK ME BABY FUCK ME!"
Jared opened the fridge, still raping Jensen's ass and took out the whipped cream spreading it onto Jensen and licking it all off his skin then threw Jensen to the ground and sucked his cock covered in whipped cream then started to beat him with the meat hitter.
"DIE JENSEN DIE, I LOVE YOU, DIE!'
"FUCK JARED, KILL ME KILL ME, RAVAGE MY INSIDES"
Then Jared and Jensen came together and ate up all the come filled turkey and took a shower with the cranberry sauce and had lots and lots and lots of kinky,horny,nasty,dirty sex, then Jared killed him cause Jensen didn't give him pie and then Jensen came back to life and Jared had sex with his ghost and then Jensen turned real again and they kept having more sex till their orgams blew up the planet and it was all Jensen's fault for being so sexy and not giving Jared pie like he was supposed to.
-THE END
Ana was busy tidying the living room a little bit until the guests were due to arrive while Cully was in the kitchen putting the finishing touches together for the big turkey day meal when she heard a giant crash coming fromm the dining room.
"BELLA, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Cully cried.
Bella was standing in the middle of the table with a fierce look of anger on her face, in her right hand she held a giant carving knife and her hand was held in an attack move. Bella was squating down in front of the turkey.
"YOU GONNA DIE!" she screamed at the turkey.
"BELLA YOU GET DOWN FROM THAT TABLE THIS INSTANT!"
"OH YOU GONNA DIE, I HATE YOU, FAT TURKEY" Bella screamed at it as she spit on the turkey.
"ANA! ANA HURRY IN HERE, BELLA'S GONE MAD!"
Ana rushed into the dining room, her jaw dropping at the site before her.
"What the?"
"IT ALIVE B*TCHES! I'M GONNA KILL IT!"
"Bella that turkey is dead. We bought it at the store yesterday remember? It's dead"
Bella turned towards Ana as if she almost believed her then turned back to the turkey and kicked it onto the floor.
"OMG OMG OMG! BELLA NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE! WE HAVE GUESTS COMING! OMG" Cully yelled, trying to get ahold of Bella so she wouldn't do any further damage to the turkey.
"ANA GRAB THE TURKEY GO WASH IT OFF!"
"STAY AWAY FROM IT OR I'LL BEAT OUT YOUR PEE!"
Ana backed away.
"OK TURKEY, I GONNA STAB YOU"
The turkey just lay there. Bella moved around it cautiously. Cully was crying over the damaged turkey and Ana didn't know what in the heck to do in this situation so she went to go peel and peel yams.
"I KNOW YOU ALIVE FATTY MC FAT FAT NOW GET UP SO I CAN KILL YOU!"
"Bella you've ruined turkey day" Cully cried.
She was on the verge of commplete sobbing when the turkey stirred and Cully gasped.
"Gobble Gobble, Gobble Gobble"
"HA! YOU GOING DOWN" Bella said lunging at the turkey. The turkey was a master at kung fu and he spun out his turkey leg and hit Bella on the nose, making it bleed.
"HOLY *BEEP*!" went Cully running to go get Ana again.
"ANA ANA THE TURKEY...IT ALIVE!"
"Oh god not you to, it's bad enough with her"
"Ana it's freakin alive, get in there, we have to catch it and cook it for dinner"
Ana gave up and ran back to the dining room with Cully. Just as they entered, 3 plates came crashing up at the wall behind them, barley missing them.
"ANA GET DOWN!"
Cully pulled Ana to the floor. Bella meanwhile was chasing the turkey all around the dining room threatening to cut it up but the turkey was having none of it. First it broke Bella's arm, then it pulled out all of Cully's hair and practically choked Ana with the mashed potatoes. They needed help.
Cully took out her cell phone and called Sam and Dean winchester.
"DEAN GET OVER HERE, KILL OUR EVIL TURKEY SO WE CAN EAT IT FOR TURKEY DAY!"
"Um.." The voice on the other hand was Sam not Dean "You wanna repeat that?"
"THE TURKEY CAME BACK TO LIFE! KILL IT FOR US"
"O..kay"
Sam and Dean showed up and blasted the turkey with the shotgun just as Hannah,Cory and Honeyrose walked throught the front door.
Cory: "FUCK! THEIR TURKEY, IT ALIVE!"
Hannah: "SHIT!"
Honeyrose: "RUN AWAY RUN AWAY!"
Hannah and Cory: "DEAN'S HOT, I WANT HIM"
Hannah and Cory began to fight over Dean. Sam saw this and got really really jealous and ditched trying to finish off the turkey to go get Hannah and Cory off his lover. After he killed Hannah and Cory for trying to have sex with Dean, Sam went back and used his psycho hand powers to kill the turkey.
The battle was finally over, a giant mess had been left to clean up.
Ana,Cully,Sam and Bella just stared at the giant mess. No one said anything at all.
"So what are we gonna eat now?"
-The End
Cory invited Edward down to the beach for a night of male frivolity and just as Edward was getting secure in his non actual friendship with Cory, Cory suffocated him in the beach sand.
"NO!EDWARD!" came a scream from somwhere behind him.
"Shit it's that crazy girl Bella"
Cory tried to bury Edward's body before Bella would kill him but he wasn't having any luck. He took Edward's body and placed in on the back of his motorcycle unaware that Edward wasn't all the way dead but just passed out.
"I WANNA RIP YOU MALE CROTCH OFF AND USE IT AS A FLAG YOU GAY FATTY!"
{A/N wants Cory to know she didn't come up with these words, those were Bella's revenge words because Cory is killing Edward,lol}
Bella got into her truck and drove after Cory who had the undead Edward in front of him on the motorcycle.
He pulled and yanked Edward into his house and hid him in the oven then grabbed his gun, ran outside and shut Bella in the eye. She went down and he thought she'd go away but she came back and kicked him in the stomach. He threw her into the fireplace and set her on fire and her last words on earth were "EDWARD"
Speaking of, while Cory was killing Bella, Edward woke up. He didn't know Bella had been burned alive but when he found some of her body parts mixed with the ashes he sucked out all of Cory's blood and planted him in the rose garden. Then he used his powers of magic to save Bella from the afterlife and as the Cory roses would grow, they would hack them to pieces with the trimming shears.
-The End
A shiver ran down her spine. She had always wanted to have sex with Jensen on Turkey Day and she snuck him up to the roof of her house.
"Jensen you are so sexy. So gorgeous. I want you to have my babies"
Jensen slowly lowered her down onto the roof and [FANFICTION EDIT FANFICTION EDIT]
"Do that again Jensen. Oh yes baby yes!"
Jensen swivled his tongue against her [EDIT EDIT]
"OH GOD YES, DON'T STOP DON'T STOP"
Jensen whipped out his [.....] and thrust it into her [......] and Hannah came all over the place. You'd think she was made up of whipped cream or something. Jensen came right after her and some of his [wicked grin insert] got into her mouth.
She lapped it up like a hungry little wolf and he kissed her and started to pump into her again cause Jensen is a wild texas man who doesn't need time to re-energize his sexual needs.
Meanwhile the turkey everyone was trying to kill found a way out and ran down the street where he met up with his turkey family and they turned on Hannah's family and pecked them repeatedly till Hannah's family said they'd never eat turkey again.
Hannah and Jensen spent hours swapping their sex juices and then Jensen came over to Beka's house where he sincerly aplogized for her having to bleach out her eyes at writing a sex fic featuring one of her friends. He gave Beka a sponge bath and they had lots of kinky water sex but it was ok because Hannah had his babies and was fullfilled in her life.
-The End
"WHAT?"
"HAVE SEX WITH MY PILLOWS"
"UM.."
"CAN I SUCK YOUR BLOOD?"
"I'M CRAFTING BELLA"
"I HATE CRAFTS. HAVE SEX WITH THE PILLOWS"
"BELLA YOU'RE INSANE"
Bella pushed Hannah onto the bed,knocking her craft supplies on the floor.
"YOU B*TCH!LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY CRAFT SUPPLIES"
"HA.THE CRAFT SUPPLIES MUST DIE"
Bella got off the bed and stomped on all the craft supplies and threw them into the toliet.
"LET'S HAVE SEX"
Hannah tried to escape but Bella flung her into the toliet and had sex with her, then dried the poop off her and led her to the bed where she had sex with her again and then she stuck the plastic googly eyes she didn't step on up Hannah's butt and made her have babies.
-The End
